Shannondasuperstar’s Weblog

{March 17, 2008}   Who Am I?

Who am I really I feel like I don’t have the voice! And I don’t know what to do about that. Will I go through life trying to please everyone to make sure they will stay apart of my life. Man I am in the mix and I feel the only time I write in this blog is when I am sad and not feeling so good. Tears run down my cheeks as I try not to cry I have so much bottled up in said and I wish that I would all just go away I am really tired of feeling this way. My stomach hurts but head feels so bad. I am just a burden to myself and I don’ t like how this is sounding but I am sure it will pass with time. I listen to music wishing that i was the person in the video but that will never come either. I am 19 with know life running around trying to help this person and that person I wish I was at home. Home what am i saying where is that I feel so unhappy at any placethat I go.  I am really missing the person that I care so much about in this world but I think that I kinda messed that up as well. I want to grow like the trees in the park I want to soar like the eagles in the sky. I want to buzz like the bumble bee’s why can’t I be like that. As a tear sheds my knees start to shake as I take a deep breath my chest hurts man what the hell is going on. Maybe I need to sleep on it and maybe in the morning I will feel a little better. I know life is hard and you have to deal with it and that is what I am doing I am not gone stop I am gone leave each day like it is the last. I know I am sad for this moment in time. I mean everything that is going on right now is not all that bad I mean I have school that I am happy to be apart of it. I have friends that I love with all my heart because I know that they really care about me. I have this dog that takes care of me and I know it should be the other way around but he knows I don’t feel so great these days so he lays his head in my lap and keeps me company. I have my brother that I talk to I mean he is only 12 but her is always there for me he jokes and makes faces that he knows will make me smile and think about something else. I am losing sight of all the things that I once enjoyed doing but it is not gone completely. Really who am I!


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