Shannondasuperstar’s Weblog

{December 18, 2007}   12-17-07

Have you ever felt so bad about how things where going. It seems that nothing was going right. People always saying try you best don’t give up.  But if you think about that gets really hard sometimes at least for me nothing is coming together. When I try to do something it seems to fail right before my eyes. I lay and cry and ask myself am I gone every believe in myself but I am really starting to doubt it. I am tired of acting like this strong person in front of everyone because really inside that is not how I feel about a lot of things. I went in thinking that I had everything in control but I don’t. I sit in front of this computer and try to think about what I want to say but it is so hard to tell people how you are feeling I don’t want to be judge about none of my feeling so I will keep them to myself. Life is hard and things are bad with my trying to reach for my goals I don’t think know one understands where I am coming from. I know that I can’t be good in all things but I think that I am not good at anything that is important. I love working with computers but every job you see that lets you work with them tells you high school dipolma or GED and how things are looking I am never gone have that don’t matter how hard I try to work towards them it is just not happening in my favor. I am not gone give up on it but that is how I feel and really want to do, but I am not. After my session of schooling today I tossed my books away and came in the house crying because I felt so bad about the things that I didn’t know and it made me feel even worse about myself and I don’t want people going around saying that I can’t learn and I suck. Deep in my heart that is how I felt. I laid there thinking about everything as the tears continued to come down. My family came in and asked what was wrong and the only thing that I could say is that I could not do it and that was really bad but after talking to them and some of my friends the clouds are starting to go away I feel a little about the whole thing the only thing I can do is try I guess. This is not really a blog entry for school is something that I just had to get off my chest to make me feel better.



themorethingschange says:

hey there shannon– i’m a friend of manju’s an avid blog-reader. manju said i should check out your blog if i wanted to read something refreshing and insightful. i’m so glad she did! i work as a writing coach for college students in washington, dc and i really love what you have to say. your style is incredibly expressive and honest, and you are talking and thinking about some really tough, important things. please keep writing– i’m going to keep reading. i can tell that i have a lot to learn from a writer like you!
love, anna

Oh Shannon. You ARE one of the smartest people I know. And you inspire me all the time. But that doesn’t mean you have to pretend that you have it all figured out all the time. We all love the strong you and the hurt you and the frustrated you and the happy you and the tired you and the inspired you and the angry you and all of you.

Sam says:

Just to brag on you a little… I know you’ve made whole classes jealous by getting perfect scores on tests after being the first to turn your paper in. You told me about it. You are mad smart. So please don’t lose faith in your abilities. It’s not a lack of ability that’s given you a hard time with the GED. It’s just a matter of getting a hang of the system. Just like you figured out the note-taking, studying and testing skills that allowed you to nail those tests in school, I know you can figure out a good system for the GED too. And I’d be happy to help you stratemigize about it. I feel like I haven’t gotten any quality time with you in too long anyway. Study date?

yashna says:

I am honored to have you as one of our DLC students, and honored to have you as one of my friends. All I have seen of you is a smart, capable, strong woman, who has an incredible amount of love and support in her life. I know you got this. I would not lie to you, listen, this is my job, I help folks learn to read and get their GED, I know whats up, and like I said, you got this. It may be hard at times, but I will support you in whatever way I can. Do you want to get together to make a game plan sometime?
Love, Yashna

manju says:

Shannon! I miss reading your blog! Please write again soon!

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